Song of the moment: This Must Be The Place by The Talking Heads
So...the concept of home...
At first it was the melody and tone of this song which first caught my breath (think it's the base?). Usually music makes my hips move, this one makes my shoulders twist a little, back and forth. And my head nods a lot...with a big smile on my face. "Feet on the ground, head in the sky," he continues. THAT is me to a T. And now when I really pay heed to the lyrics, focus really hard, it's the words that now stop me in my tracks. "I guess this must be the place," he sings. But is it? I would imagine that one's heart skips a beat and finds peace in the place where we find we belong. City. Country. Forest. Suburbia...all of it means something to each of us, positives and negatives intertwined.
I would love to find home again. I'm a traveling soul, it's true. I've been up. I've been down. Bi-coastal. France. Mexico. Costa Rica. The Southern US (be still my beating heart), shipyards (be still again). The goal's not to drop names, places or notions, really. The point is that home is really hard to find for some of us.
Most of the time my heart melts amidst the view of wide open spaces. Lush gardens, rolling hills and masses of grape leaves make my heart swoon and soar. My head spins a little bit in places like this, where I imagine my little life taking root and finally...some shelter. I belong in Lizzy's farmhouse in Pride and Prejudice (enter long pause for long sigh.)
I thought, at one time, I knew what home was, and that same place draws me back, alternately throughout my life...and then, so does another place...and more recently, yet another. I suppose it's like they say? "Home is where the heart is," and maybe it means more that I am trying to find my heart first, and then home will make itself more apparent? Home is people. Home is a table filled with food. Home is family. Home is, to me, the passage of time, where the loss of time matters not and the subdued calm rushes in, and my chest rises and falls without madness.
I've been fortunate enough to travel, wings opening up, carrying me off to far distances. And I am still hoping that where I've landed may be called home...eyes open, heart wide.
I really am "just an animal looking for a home."
