Day 4: In whom are you disappointed and why?
I wont lie- there are a few folks I'm disappointed in. But there's really only one person whom I can really hold accountable, up to this point. And it's a spit fire of a girl, all of 5 feet 2 inches (if that) with a mouth like a sailor and a head still stuck in fairytale land.
I suppose then, I am most disappointed in myself. I've let myself down, failed to hold myself to goals, and tend to be more emotional than productive, at times.
I'm disappointed in the fact that I have fought to keep my life simple- it is simple- and yet, I still search, seeking the music of other places and mindsets. I am disappointed in myself for the inability to really define who I am or who I think I am, and then disappointed in myself for holding myself accountable for living according to such a small and confined space. I'm NOT a simple person, or am I? I'm really not a simple person, but I love the dreamy thought of living a simple life, even though I'm not totally sure what that means. It's not that I'm complicated...I am complex :) There's a difference.
No, really- there is a difference.
I'm disappointed in my constant reminders to others, about the importance of slowing down, seeing what's right in front of you, and then not being able to do the same for myself.
I'm disappointed for not being proud enough of myself either- there's a fine line between arrogance, self absorption and confidence, and I've not yet found that line, so I steer away from it, altogether some times. Most of the time, really.
I'm disappointed that I never followed through with piano lessons, and that I got rather inebriated on my 30th birthday and chewed out the bar tender...but it could have been a lot worse, I mean, in my defense and all...and I was served a lot of champagne- that I did not refuse. So, should I be disappointed then? In myself.
O...
timer goes off....
Day 5: Gay marriage. Yes? No? Why?
Yes, plain and simple.
The simplest reason I have is this: as humans we have bigger problems than facing the fact that two people love one another.
Isn't it hard enough to find love, period? Love- pure, tried and true love is a tricky thing in life. You can seek, search, redefine, attend conferences, and it will still evade you. The thought of two men or women, lucky enough to find such love is a pretty beautiful thing in my eyes, and to take the freedom of recognizing that in a court of law is embarrassing to me.
I do realize that the argument that gay love is "unnatural" exists and to me, it holds very little bearing on the reality of such a context.
My clothes are made of synthetic fibers, and I buy them and wear them. My eye sight is aided by the product of contacts and eye glasses- and I wear either every single day of my life. Plastic is not natural, and yet, it's a basic necessity in life. Formula is far from natural, and yet women give their babies formula...moms are busy.
None of the above really matters to my heart, though, when I consider what I feel for gay marriage. The fact that we infringe upon a couples' choice to sanctify their marriage, according to the courts is a sad notion to me.
I also realize that the opposing argument stands, then, that people should then be allowed to marry more than one person...and you know what? If you can keep up with dual lives, then you're a better person than me, and maybe you deserve more than one spouse. Good luck with that.
I love love. It's really that simple and if two people are lucky enough to find it in such a chaotic world, and it brings them peace, solitude and joy, then that's what really matters to me. It's hard enough in life.
Timer goes off...
Day 6: What's up with the animal thing?
This is by far the hardest thing to explain to a person. This overwhelming sense of protection I feel for animals, and the only way I've deemed it possible to really pinpoint is with one word:innate.
Some people are built in a certain fashion. I was the kid who chose the disfigured stuffed animals out of fear they would never have a child to love them, and who better than me. I kept blades of grass I'd somehow aquired out of fear that the planet would feel as though I was abusing it in some fashion.
It's bizarre and it's caused me a boat load of awkward discussions and odd glances.
Maybe it has something to do with some very loose sense of the term God. Maybe I was wired this way, to love animals.
Nothing sets me off into a rage, more quickly than the thought of an animal being mistreated, and it's something I have not been able to redefine, but my responses to it are certainly more private than they once were. Sometimes, not all the time.
As a young girl, I thought it important, essential to life, that each person bonded to some animal, and mine has always been a wolf. There are a lot of terms for this type of thinking: guardian, totem, animal guide/spirit, what have you. But in the end, it's something I still hold on to, despite society's downward trodden belief in such fantastical things.
And I feel sorry for those people, who've lost that sense of connection. And the impact we have on the world around us.
I love love love, and you know what? It could be worse.
I could've been the kid, skinning cats in the garage, but I'm not- my psychosis is built differently.
Timer goes off....
I wont lie- there are a few folks I'm disappointed in. But there's really only one person whom I can really hold accountable, up to this point. And it's a spit fire of a girl, all of 5 feet 2 inches (if that) with a mouth like a sailor and a head still stuck in fairytale land.
I suppose then, I am most disappointed in myself. I've let myself down, failed to hold myself to goals, and tend to be more emotional than productive, at times.
I'm disappointed in the fact that I have fought to keep my life simple- it is simple- and yet, I still search, seeking the music of other places and mindsets. I am disappointed in myself for the inability to really define who I am or who I think I am, and then disappointed in myself for holding myself accountable for living according to such a small and confined space. I'm NOT a simple person, or am I? I'm really not a simple person, but I love the dreamy thought of living a simple life, even though I'm not totally sure what that means. It's not that I'm complicated...I am complex :) There's a difference.
No, really- there is a difference.
I'm disappointed in my constant reminders to others, about the importance of slowing down, seeing what's right in front of you, and then not being able to do the same for myself.
I'm disappointed for not being proud enough of myself either- there's a fine line between arrogance, self absorption and confidence, and I've not yet found that line, so I steer away from it, altogether some times. Most of the time, really.
I'm disappointed that I never followed through with piano lessons, and that I got rather inebriated on my 30th birthday and chewed out the bar tender...but it could have been a lot worse, I mean, in my defense and all...and I was served a lot of champagne- that I did not refuse. So, should I be disappointed then? In myself.
O...
timer goes off....
Day 5: Gay marriage. Yes? No? Why?
Yes, plain and simple.
The simplest reason I have is this: as humans we have bigger problems than facing the fact that two people love one another.
Isn't it hard enough to find love, period? Love- pure, tried and true love is a tricky thing in life. You can seek, search, redefine, attend conferences, and it will still evade you. The thought of two men or women, lucky enough to find such love is a pretty beautiful thing in my eyes, and to take the freedom of recognizing that in a court of law is embarrassing to me.
I do realize that the argument that gay love is "unnatural" exists and to me, it holds very little bearing on the reality of such a context.
My clothes are made of synthetic fibers, and I buy them and wear them. My eye sight is aided by the product of contacts and eye glasses- and I wear either every single day of my life. Plastic is not natural, and yet, it's a basic necessity in life. Formula is far from natural, and yet women give their babies formula...moms are busy.
None of the above really matters to my heart, though, when I consider what I feel for gay marriage. The fact that we infringe upon a couples' choice to sanctify their marriage, according to the courts is a sad notion to me.
I also realize that the opposing argument stands, then, that people should then be allowed to marry more than one person...and you know what? If you can keep up with dual lives, then you're a better person than me, and maybe you deserve more than one spouse. Good luck with that.
I love love. It's really that simple and if two people are lucky enough to find it in such a chaotic world, and it brings them peace, solitude and joy, then that's what really matters to me. It's hard enough in life.
Timer goes off...
Day 6: What's up with the animal thing?
This is by far the hardest thing to explain to a person. This overwhelming sense of protection I feel for animals, and the only way I've deemed it possible to really pinpoint is with one word:innate.
Some people are built in a certain fashion. I was the kid who chose the disfigured stuffed animals out of fear they would never have a child to love them, and who better than me. I kept blades of grass I'd somehow aquired out of fear that the planet would feel as though I was abusing it in some fashion.
It's bizarre and it's caused me a boat load of awkward discussions and odd glances.
Maybe it has something to do with some very loose sense of the term God. Maybe I was wired this way, to love animals.
Nothing sets me off into a rage, more quickly than the thought of an animal being mistreated, and it's something I have not been able to redefine, but my responses to it are certainly more private than they once were. Sometimes, not all the time.
As a young girl, I thought it important, essential to life, that each person bonded to some animal, and mine has always been a wolf. There are a lot of terms for this type of thinking: guardian, totem, animal guide/spirit, what have you. But in the end, it's something I still hold on to, despite society's downward trodden belief in such fantastical things.
And I feel sorry for those people, who've lost that sense of connection. And the impact we have on the world around us.
I love love love, and you know what? It could be worse.
I could've been the kid, skinning cats in the garage, but I'm not- my psychosis is built differently.
Timer goes off....
